Love At First Fight

I am not a wrestler, she is not Mary Kom either.

It was 3 years back, when i first got posted in Gurudasnagar a small town in  Chattisgarh. First job is exciting though, a new journey, new fun and a  freedom to rejoice. 

It was summer days. I cant forget those days. And Indian summer don't need a introduction. They come, they burn and keep burning untill you feel you are out of the tandoori grill. It was a 5 hrs "Bas" journey from the nearest station.Don't ever think i misspelled Bus. This is what i was yelling through out the journey, "Ab bas". Not to forget the over crowded Bas. oops "BUS". 

I reached room, which was the company guest house booked for me. Empty stomach, Dinosaurs running all where. Heat, Humid, Hunger all making a tease of me and i felt like a trapped rat. 

I took my shirt off and threw it out to a corner of the room in disgust. It was soaked through in sweat. I lay back on my back and stared at the ceiling. Sleep eluded me, not that it was essential, though, but a good siesta after a tiresome journey was always welcome.

The ceiling proudly displayed a hook to which a fan should have been hung. Only this illusory fan was missing. The walls needed a coat of paint. The ceiling needed a fan and the floor too was incomplete. An ineffective table fan swung in the far corner, albeit in utter languor, emitting a peculiar sort of groan that rose and fell with the swing. What was it doing there anyway? It gave out more sound than breeze.

Now the hunger has turned Anger. Need a shower desperately to ease things up. Then can think of lunch.

Rushed downstair to get a body soap. 
Ohh gosh !! The crowd is all where, seems like the shop is a mini fish market, where the crowd is having a loot. 

I never cared for it, tore apart the crowd and went inside.
(Hmm pretty experienced, college days, Shahrukh first day-first show, Rush and the happiness to get a half dozen of balcony tickets for the troop)

"Oye dikhta nahi hai kya, kahaan kahaan se aa jaate hain"
A sweet but daring voice interupts me as i went inside.

I can realise it was my fault, as i stepped hard on some one in the rush. I should have been patient. But that anger was on top. Never made me realise it was my mistake.

Out she came.
Fair, angelic , black eyes and dark brown hair.
Yeah i noticed a lot before she shouted on me "Pagal ho gaye ho kya ? Dikhta nahi, Aise kaise ghus aaye ? Itni bhi kya jaldi hai ? " 

I just could say a Sorry with a dull voice with no energy left in me. 

"Sorry kya ? galti karke sorry bol diya. bahut easy hai naa ?"

I know it was my fault. But she was too harsh on me.As like i have made a blunder doing so, the earth stopped rotating. 

"Madam !! Sorry toh bola naa." Galti meri thi.

"Kya galti ??" Jaan bujh ke galti karna aur phir sorry.
Yeh sab karte kyun ho....??

And the words keep flying. The whole market keep staring at us. Like we are discussing some serious issues in the newshour.

I decided to put a off mode to the ears and look at her face, innocent but not ready to give up. That anger made that face more adorable even.
Guess what a smile can do ?? Magic for sure.

The shopkeeper put a halt to it, handing over the bath soap.
And i came back to the room.

Hunger .... disappeared.
A cold breeze wiped away all the humidity and i just felt i am not me now. 

I never got a chance to apologise and let her understand,it was not deliberate.Even felt also she must have realised it too.Something inside me is set alive for sure.
Aaaah !! The tireness took over and i fell asleep.

First day at office....!!

The market was quite familiar to me now, The shop being the crime spot. I kept walking and the heart kept searching a face in the crowd. 

I reached early,got my documents verified and was busy cleaning my desk.

"Good Morning" A feminine voice greeted every one in the office.Ohh, I am familiar to this voice, i have heard it before.I looked back eagerly. It was Mrs Joshi, our Team supervisor.Every feminine voice reminds me of her, her presence.

A rare smile on my face and I kept cleaning my desk with that face still green in my mind. A hope to meet her again, a hope to say sorry, Hope like rain in summer.

Love at first sight ?? Love at first fight instead.

Keep Loving
--Chinmay--

Witness Winter : A pain within

Winter is at it's peak. It’s Seven in the Evening and the park is almost empty.
The lights have faded long way back and a light fog have engulfed the whole city.
The freshness in the air is the witness of the cold, when the half of the city are still busy with their routine life.

The cold breeze, The twinkling stars in the sky were getting dimmer midst of the fog , so was the lonely moon among them.Like me … missed in solitude even in a typical crowd inside this park.This way, the moon had an intimacy with me.

The flora and fauna looking fresh as they have something to wish.

The concrete bench was the sufferer to face the cold breeze.The nearby light post which had been standing like a watchman was now appearing hazier and hazier. The droplets of evening dew were falling from the sky, enjoying the free fall of gravity.

It’s early December.
The winter has started shuddering this city with the mercury going down every time. 

Perhaps I am the last one to leave the park.... No Somebody is still there to wait for....!!

Dishaa !! Three years back, when I was quite new to this city. How can I forget that winter.She Knitted a sweater for me, perfect fit and the perfect color for me.
Perfect gift to tie up the beautiful fold of relationship.

Three years after, same place and I am still wearing the same sweater.
They say naah, Indivisible love. May be, it’s that only.
When winter comes, How can her memories be far behind ?

The moon still gazing at me from a distance, asking “Are you also alone,the way I am”.
I could only put my heads down, & say to myself “You have  millions of stars with you”.

“Ayub !! We have to go now, It’s too late”. 

And I always have a reason to stretch the time a bit, With her, it’s always a seventh heaven.Sleeping  on the lap of my girl, waiting for the spring to come. 

Ignoring….. the cold wave and the drizzling dew drops.

Time passed, the earth rotated, revolved, and the next winter came.
But its not the same winter as before. The cold waves started teasing you like the hot loos.This time I am alone. Still in search of that lost smile, which has opt to shy away inside the coffin of deep sleep.

In every winter I wear the same  sweater gifted by Dishaa and feel her in me.
Maybe she might  have forgotten the art of knitting sweaters.
Even otherwise, she won’t be knitting sweaters any more for anybody.

She may have parted ways, But have I ?

“It’s already nine’o clock, Sir. Let’s go. I have to close the gate now.”

What…if I disobey the watchman’s instructions? What... if I break the rules ?
He would sense a mad in me and kick me out of the park.

The one with a broken heart, can’t break the rules. I know.

I can only see the city sleeping behind those dim lights, when I make my way out of the park.The Cold waves are at its peak.

“Saheb !! Kuch do naa ??” 

 Heard a shattered voice ( Torn shirts,  bare foot, cramped legs and the half bare body still resisting the cold of December)

I could only pull off my Sweater, pat him on the back and hand it over to him.
My whole body was sweating profusely. The heartbeats have been faster.
And a long silence to follow.

(Can hear the watchman shouting – Sir, thand lag jaaegi !! jaante nahi aap aise bacchoin ko...Chor hai saala !!)

And I moved away and waited for taxi to take me to my place.
Sad that I got rid of her memory.
But what about witnessing winter, the pain is still with me.
*********************************************************************************
                                                                                                                                                                                 Thanks,                                                                                                                                                            Chinmay  

"Papa" !!
That happiness when you return from a hectic day from office and some one comes running to you and her voice fades away all your tiredness.
(untying shoes)...!!!
Whats up Dear ?? How are you doing ?? 

"Oh common " came a strong voice from inside. "You are late as usual" . 
Is it the right time to come home ? Little Eisha is almost tired waiting for you and so am i .

And that moment you have to be silent. Don't ever think of using the proverb "Silence says more than words"
Better keep it till the dinner is over.

It's been a daily routine for me. Arriving late as always than her. But that's called life. But what raised exponentially is the love between us.
The love that started some way like this :-

Flashback  few years back : My story of a Long Distance Relationship
Many people have their own views and opinions about a long distance relationship. But it's better to draw conclusion when you are into it. Just like you can't judge a shoe from its look, wearing it some times help you more.

Love is not the way it happens before.With the more and simpler ways to connect people together from all over the world, you can know a lot about them. Soon enough, you are learning more about this other person than you know about your next door neighbor, which results in a strong, deep connection. 

Have Read it some where "A man is someone who takes care of his business and his woman".
And if you are the right guy to take care of the saying, I think happiness is all yours.

You meet someone online, who could live thousand miles away from you, and you begin telling that person all about yourself. Why not? no real risk involved. If the person doesn't like what they are hearing about you, who cares. It's not as if you are ever going to meet the person anyway, you don't even know them. But what happens when that same person enjoys everything you have to say, and begins telling you about themselves in return? Before you know it, you have told your entire life story, including things your best friend's don't even know, to someone you considered a stranger a few days ago. You find yourself hopping online a lot more often, in hopes of chatting it up with your new friend. In a short period of time, you begin talking to this person more than you talk to anyone else in your life, including those you see often. A strong attachment/bond begins to form between the two of you, and you are quickly falling in love. Now what?

You have fallen for that mesmerizing smile and you are ready to die for it.

And Don't worry about those thousand miles what i have mentioned.
It's not like the Coulomb's law in physics where you have to fear about the distance. 

Jab chemistry acchi ho toh then kaahe ka Physics se darr ??

But it do biologically prove something as well.

"If the two charges have the same sign, the electrostatic force between them is repulsive; if they have different sign, the force between them is attractive."

Hope you have applied little Biology with Physics this time.

Getting out of the theories, emotional connection are the base of any relations. You can be physically attracted to any random person you meet, but overtime, that attraction is going to fade and you will realize there is nothing there emotionally. You will come to realize that it is much easier to fall in love with someone through conversation than it is to fall in love with someone you are physically with. But can a long distance relationship actually work out in the end?  

Yes, No / May be ?? 
But it is a big Yes for me.

When you talk about love, it should be unconditional. So why a name to a relationship. A relationship is always a relationship. Then why the need of putting a phrase "long distance" to it though we know we all belong to the same planet. Not like a extra ordinary love story where we talk about galaxies.

Every Relationships require a lot of patience, will power, and effort on both partners. If you have what it takes, then A Long Distance Relationship will definitely work in your favor, and may even end up being the greatest love story you will ever have. 

So love the way it is. Love it your way !!

"Dinner is ready" !!! Again that voice reminds me that i can't be late this time.
                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                             Love  you                                                                                                                                 Chini

Would you be my Valentine ?

No No Never !!! Boys Hold on ............. Not for you as i am completely a combination of XY Chromosome. For Girls you have a life time to decide......!!!

                                          Moving on !!! I recall last Valentine day i started my world of blog ( In fact the world says it blog, for me it's my way to prove my hobbie).

It's 14th Feb again, for some it's the day of love, the end of the love week, for some it's the same day with 24 hours. Sun rising in the east, and setting North ???? West re !!! 

I know this day is very special, but if your love is eternal it's just like a valentine day everyday. Some questions the existence of love. Of course it's there.

"How come Bappi Lahiri wearing gold chains ??" Pyaar bina Chain kahan re ?? So it's there for sure.

And any one noticed reading it carefully, that i have misspelled hobby as hobbie in the 4th line. It seems windows provide a spell check but not your brains :p

Life and Love always have a same thing in common. Apart from both start & end letters are same, both .length() method returns same value. Both runs in parallel. Some times sync can be lost, but they can be retained. For some it's a dream coming true, some it's a dream that never let you sleep.

It's always a temporary madness, whenever you fall in love. Flooded with feelings, raising like a tsunami, erupting like an earthquake and then it subsides. Don't think i have a wrong impression as i am comparing it with natural calamities. Of course it's natural !! But not sure if it's a calamity ?? but it subsides for sure. And when it does, you have to be decisive. Then it put a mark of confusion, whether you are so close that you should ever part. But that is the answer. That is what Love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not a joyous ride, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that she is kissing every part of the body.
No ... please that is not that funny !!! don't blush even !!

I am just alongside with the truth. For that is just being in love; which many of us can convince ourselves what we are. Love it self is what is left over, when being is love has burned away.

Working as a web developer now a days, can simply say "You can't leave !! My Heart doesn't validate without you" . Form validations are not that easy either :p Believe me :)

Almost a 7 long years !!

Still most of the questions unanswered !! 

"Why you are expecting a call ??"

"If she calls .. Why she should ask about you ??"

"Who the hell i am to her ??"

and a big LOL... :p

and here i got my answer !! LOL - Live Out with Love. 

                                                                         Happy Valentine Day ----- Chinmay