Home Coming :- A dream .

You know what is common between , When i first opened my eyes, when i first crawled, when i walked few steps and fell down, when i uttered "maa" for the first time , when i first went to school, when i stood first in the Exam ?? .........Its my Home.

This is what Dictionary says about the definition of Home.

"Noun - The place where one lives permanently", esp. as a member of a family or household.

But it definitely has a different meaning for all of us.

Things have changed now-a-days . Every body wants to get away from home,Work hard, make money, But  the missing link is the Home which has made us that capable.

Living far changes you forever. And if it's overseas,you have a different experience. You will never be the same and will never see things the same way again. 

I mentioned this to a friend after having lived abroad for half an year. He looked at me confused and responded," Oh Come on yaar , don't be so depressing !"

It happens, suddenly you changed your life styles, started compelling yourself for every disciplines.But forgot that you are from here only, the place which your body smells,sees,hears,feels and talks.

The first time i experienced it was after returning home from abroad in the late 2012 from Johannesburg. My Home town,which before had given me a sense of comfort and belonging,upon returning seemed stifling and bereft of warmth.

I moved about my days feeling that something was missing but I had no idea what it could be. I eventually came face to face with the starling reality that my home would never, ever again feel the same as it had before. I had sealed my fate the moment I had boarded that plane six months before.

I don’t think there is really any way to describe this feeling to those who haven’t experienced it themselves.  It’s a little like free-falling.  It feels as if we are floating aimlessly on restless waters.  We feel distinctly ungrounded.

What, exactly, is it that causes us to feel this way? Why is it more pronounced when living in a different country than just living in a different city? Does the degree of difference between our home country and the target country determine the degree of change we will experience upon returning?

Life is now busy with work. Tiresome is the word that is inherited and the vitamin capsules has no answer to it. Cheap voip calls to checking the conversion rate has become a daily routine. Still i am happy ?? A big question though !!!

Although it is true that those initial feelings of strangeness have subsided, I still feel that something will never be the same even now, so many years later. Yet when I am back there, I feel the pull to return here, the place I call home. It is as if I am living in a kind of suspended reality, never really here and never really there; restless.

The joy of having spent time in another country is that you slowly become a part of it and bit-by-bit one of its people. Our attention to detail is heightened and we make a concerted effort to understand and fit in until we become one with our new location.  What I have seen and felt and heard and smelled in each of the places I have lived has made me who I am, like a wine having picking up its surrounding elements.

Thus, the final question I ask myself is no longer whether I will ever have that complete sense of home again, that sense of knowing I belong in one place above all others without doubt.  I now ask myself how I can feel at home where I am at this very moment, in this place, with these experiences; each moment finding my way back home.

But i am left out unanswered ..... In fact you all are !! Still we are far away from Home. Still we are happy. Coz a fake smile sometimes can make it. A smile that comes from the face, as the smile from the heart already have perished.

To all those who miss Home ...... !!!              -----Chinmay-----